Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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