You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
