who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
