i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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