she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
