is your mom at the bar?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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