just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
