They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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