No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
