Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
