ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize