She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The air taste purple.
Randomize
