Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
