Soap is not a condiment
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
