In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
