SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We talked him into tasing himself.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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