You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
