You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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