That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
