Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize