Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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