I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
