it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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