your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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