i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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