so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
