Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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