i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
