haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Found the puke drawer
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
