maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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