I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
