We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
