Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
