i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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