how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
