New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Drake has all the answers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
