I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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