her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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