Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
