Will you blow on my dice?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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