I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
