Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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