I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
