we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
