Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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