we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
