last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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