High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
