dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
