His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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