My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
