some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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