she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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