I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
