Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
