me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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