capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
