I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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