I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
