So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
