Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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