I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
as a side note pls kill me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
